Memorial Day at Jo*hn and Sh*aron's

Z learned to fly a kite with her daddy.

























Z and her second cousin, St*arr, worked hard to clear a bit of seaweed from the shore.

Zoe's 4th birthday party

Getting ready...

L*ily and Un*cle Ph*il

Aunt*ie Mea*gan brings balloons...

L*ily with Grand*ma J*udy

Aunt*ie E*mily with L*ily...

L*ily and Grand*pa M*ike...

Blowing out Birthday Candles...

Opening presents...

Getting a closer look...

Friends (Z*oe, Char*lotte, Au*gust, Mar*ina)

Thanks for a great Birthday!

Zo*e's Birthday

A crazy thing happened in April - my first born child turned 4 (on April 4 - too young to care about a "golden" birthday so we didn't do much with that part). Now, I am old and there are a lot of things I have done or been involved in for longer than 4 years, so in the grand scheme of my 30-something years, 4 years isn't that long (actual age hint: if I got pregnant right now, I'd have that kid in my 40s). But that last 4 years have been a total identity shift. I know, motherhood, blah blah blah - heard it before. But I think its a bit different when you don't start motherhood until your 35, or maybe when you spend your career working with pregnant women most of who didn't plan to be pregnant, or maybe when you just think too much, I don't know. Anyway, for me, it was quite a mind shift. And I have been thinking about it a lot lately (I like to think a lot first about the deep things and then write; hence, the month delay).

My pediatrician who has never been one to mince words, told me at Z's 3-year check up that I should enjoy the next year because it would be the last I really saw my baby. I was a bit shocked - she likes to do that to me, that wise woman, but of course she was right. Here is 3...

And here is 4...

So much has happened in Z this last year and I really think that is what the wise doctor means much more than the loss of her baby face. Z has started talking with her hands - No idea where she gets that :-). She tries to negotiate everything. She wants to do everything by herself and while she needs some help with things, she surprises us and herself by what she can do. She writes her name (granted its short), sings and makes up songs, mothers all of her babies, L*ily, and sometimes even me. She "reads" which involves knowing the story by heart or just making it up, tells jokes and thinks everything is funny. She is a great big sister and loves this role. She plays board games and does crafts, crafts, and more crafts. I could go on but you get the point. Full blown preschooler.

Point: Its crazy to watch your child turn into a person who has a mind of her own (but with your bad habits) and a personality that resembles you or their other parent, and yet not. Its true that parenthood teaches you a lot about yourself and brings out the best and worst in you. But its so much more. These last 4 years have given me the privilege to nurture and teach this amazing little girl who is growing into herself. I can't wait to see her continue to change and yet am trying to soak up the moments now.

Z*oe, we love you so much and celebrate how you have changed our lives already (and the lives of so many) and how you will continue to do so in the future.

Happy birthday, beautiful girl!

Sibling Right of Passage

L*ily's first haircut came a bit earlier than expected for her and for us. While her sister actually did need a trim at only 6 months, L*ily was just getting to the point where her hair was getting in her eyes.

I think maybe we talked about it too much - maybe in combination with our preschooler's zeal for cutting - these two factors together along with inattentive parenting resulted in Z*oe giving Li*ly a hair cut (notice I did not say she cut her hair, no, she gave her the full price cut). This was followed by some scolding, crying, and scolding by Mom*my, visions of blood and ERs by Dad*dy, a good time out, lots of "yes, Mom*my, sorry Mom*my, sorry L*ily", and a good dose of parental guilt. After all that, we began to recover and heard from a few other very good parents that this has happened to other children before - cutting siblings hair, reciprocating siblings, cutting one's own hair, etc.

Then we lived with it for a week before I decided I needed to take her to the professionals in hopes of helping it "blend in" and maybe even "grow out better". You can see it does look better...
BEFORE PROFESSIONAL INVOLVEMENT:

RECEIVING PROFESSIONAL HELP:
AFTER PROFESSIONAL INVOLVEMENT: ("Are we done yet, M*om?)

Z*oe clearly still loves her sister,

and maybe I'm just getting used to it, but I think its kind of cute as long as I don't dwell on where the other 2 inches that took 15 months to grow went in a flash...

Polar Plunge!

Dav*e did something I never thought I would see him do - jumped into a lake on March 5 in Minn*esota - a balmy 25 degree day. This is the man who does not want to enter a lake unless it is 70 degrees, water temp that is! But he did it! The Polar Plunge for Special Olympics on a team with 16 or so guys - No Daddy No - Dads and Friends of Kids with Down Syndrome. And he raised a bit of money for the cause too. They dressed as Chippen*dales and went down together... for the most part. Here is the video with Dave on the far right and some fabulous before and after pictures. He says it was almost worse getting into the hot tub than getting into that freezing lake! They both sounded painful to me. Thanks to my mother for assisting with photos!

My Busy Preschooler

I can't believe my baby has started preschool! It has been so exciting to see her blossom. That is after a few weeks of nervousness about staying there. On the first day, she posed for pictures outside the house...

And in front of the classroom door...

Then she started to get worried as soon as we got inside. The first day went pretty well - neither of us cried so I thought we were doing good. Then the second day came two days later. She cried for an hour. Until another child observed, "I can't hear the story!" Then just as suddenly as she started, she stopped. Hmmm. After that, the crying became shorter and shorter each day with her announcing midday, "I was sad but now I am happy!" This turned into "I was all smiles today." And now, "I'm fine mommy. I didn't cry at all!" Yeah!

She is learning so much - some days I can almost see the smoke coming out of her ears! In just a month and a half, she is "reading" and "writing" letters, drawing a lot, counting on her fingers, talking more and more sophisticated, and being helpful. This is of course amidst the other, general 3.5 year old behavior that is best described in the book, Your Three Year Old - Friend or Enemy; sassy, bossy, whiny. Lovely! However, she remains generally sweet with her sister and quite entertaining for all of us. My other favorite book right now is a children's book by Nort*on Ju*ster - Sweetiepie or Sourpuss. To paraphrase, I wonder who it will be tomorrow and what tomorrow will bring...

look how far we've come...

I have been thinking a lot lately about one year ago - at this time a year ago, we had been through the most difficult of the ultrasounds in which we were given so many scary possibilities - that was June 2009. We had been through the MRI and met with the neurosurgeon - that was the end of August 2009. And then we turned our focus on trying not to worry and just preparing for L*ily to come. As I watched a coworker go through a "normal pregnancy" this summer, I re-lived the "fun" stuff about a normal pregnancy - I actually even missed some of it. You know the swollen ankles, the swollen belly, the sleepless nights (which I still have some of now!), the moving belly, the talk about labor and delivery, drugs or no drugs, hospitals - this one can really take me right back there, all I have to do is close my eyes and I'm there. It has been so interesting because while I re-live this, L*ily keeps changing and changing. She now sits like she has known how for so long (I guess 6 weeks is long when you are less than a year), and while still so sweet she has also moved into being quite coy lately. Tonight despite my ongoing efforts to teach her a nice, gentle sign for "more" she just banged on her tray... Loudly! She has a great deal to say - lots of dadadadadadadada. And while she has loved Z for a long time, she lights up in a new way when she sees her now. She is a gazer - she grabs you with her eyes and somehow "wills" you to look at her. She would win any staring contest. Z has become more fascinated with L too and is enjoying her company more as L responds so much to Z.

L is not crawling yet but can pull her tummy off the ground and rock and can also scoot backward from one end of the room to another. We had our first taste of grabbing toys the other day when Z stepped out of the room and L took Z's luvy - the worst thing to grab! So I'm sorry to be such an infrequent blogger but keeping up and soaking it all in and thinking it all through amidst the daily grind can be just about all I can do with my thoughts some days as I live. Oh what a crazy, ugly, emotional, beautiful ride this has been.

Oh and the neurosurgeon - we went back to see him for a follow up to L's 4 post-birth head ultrasounds to see if we need to keep checking in on her brain - this was at the recommendation of our pediatrician who said, "Go back to him so you can get his blessing and be done with this because I think you don't need to worry about this anymore." So, Dr. Neurosurgeon responded to that by literally "blessing" L*ily and then told us that many people function well with enlarged ventricles while many with normal ventricles don't (he said those are the people running our government!). We go see the pediatric cardiologist, audiologist, and ENT in October for check ups so I hope they know how to "bless" too. Like I said, crazy, ugly, emotional, beautiful ride.